生活中的學習… What I've learned in life…

2000年終回顧與展望

This is the first time I try to use English to write my annual prayer letter. If you want to read the English version, please press here.
今年是我第一次嘗試用英文寫我的年終回顧。如果你想讀英文,請按這裡

親愛的朋友:

又到了一年一度的聖誕節,我又不厭其煩的來寫我的年終回顧了。今年我決定要做一些不太一樣的事情。往年,我都是把我的年終回顧附在聖誕卡中寄給您。今年,因為大部分的朋友們都有了電子郵件帳號,我決定把買聖誕卡片的錢及寄卡片的郵費省下來。我把這些錢另外加上一些捐給了聯合國兒童救助基金(United Nations Children’s Fund)。我之所以這樣做是因為今年心中有一個很強烈的感受就是我如今能過這樣的生活實在是 神太過豐盛的恩典。雖然我沒有很多錢,而且我所用的錢大部分也是靠我親愛的父母親支助的,但我還是希望能省下一點點生活的開銷來幫助那些在寒冷的冬天中沒有食物吃,沒有衣服穿的兒童們。因此,親愛的朋友,今年您將不會收到任何從我寄出的聖誕禮物或是聖誕卡片。但是願您與我一樣有一顆喜樂的心來讚美並感謝 神豐盛的預備。

今年聖誕節是我在美國的第三個聖誕節。回想過去這兩年半的時光,心中真是百感交集。每當我回想過去這兩年半的時候,詩篇139篇就會出現在我的心頭-詩人大衛向 神說:

「我往哪裡去、躲避你的靈?我往哪裡逃、躲避你的面?
我若升到天上,你在那裡;我若在陰間下榻,你也在那裡。
我若展開清晨的翅膀,飛到海極居住,
就是在那裡,你的手必引導我;你的右手也必扶持我。
我若說:黑暗必定遮蔽我,我周圍的亮光必成為黑夜;
黑暗也不能遮蔽我,使你不見,黑夜卻如白晝發亮。
黑暗和光明,在你看都是一樣。
神啊,求你鑒察我,知道我的心思,試煉我,知道我的意念,
看在我裡面有甚麼惡行沒有,引導我走永生的道路。」

作為一個從小在基督教家庭長大的基督徒,我一直都知道自己跟 神的關係雖然存在,卻不深刻也不親近。從小到大我沒有經歷過什麼大風大浪。因此,我雖然知道跟 神的關係很重要,但是卻僅只於理性上的知道而已。我的心中,卻未曾經歷過與主親近是怎樣的一種經驗。在這過去的兩年半的歲月中,我卻深深的經歷到主耶穌的同在是何等的寶貴。就如同大衛在詩篇139篇中所說的,當我覺得自己已經被黑暗所遮蔽,周圍的亮光都變成為黑夜的時候, 神並沒有離棄我。當我面對痛苦與試探的時候,祂用祂奇妙的雙手來安慰我與引導我。如今,我想要大聲的告訴您主耶穌是我唯一的救主,真的,祂也是您唯一個救主。我不再只是理性上知道,而是真實的經歷了 神的帶領。如今活著的不再是我,乃是基督在我這不配的罪人裡面活著。我要大聲的感謝與讚美那救我的主,也要感謝那些不斷的用禱告來支持我的長輩和朋友們。我另外也要感謝那些在我我痛苦的時候給我幫助與扶持的牧者長輩與弟兄姊妹們,還有那些在我對您們冷酷無情的時候依然默默守候在我身後的弟兄姊妹和朋友們。願 神鑒察你們所作的一切,並且施恩與您們。

課業方面,感謝 神的帶領,雖然沒有辦法把所有的科目都拿到A,但成績也還不至於太差。我最近常常回想剛剛進入諮商這個領域的時後心中所經歷的恐慌與掙扎–特別是當遇到信仰與諮商理論衝突的時候,心中真不知道該如何是好。好在這兩年半的時間裡,有許多的牧師、長輩、基督徒的教授、以及弟兄姊妹們都給我許多的幫助。如今,我雖然只是一個新手,至少我不再像兩年半前那樣的焦慮與恐慌。我相信 主耶穌仍然是唯一的救主。然而,帶領人到主耶穌面前卻有不同的方法。我們不能面對一個即將要餓死的人不給他們食物吃卻說:「你只要相信主耶穌,祂必定拯救你。我會為你禱告!」一個快要餓死的人最需要的是食物,然後你才能把救恩帶給他。同樣的,一個受傷的人最需要的是有人扶持他站起來,包紮他的傷口,帶領他去看醫生。主耶穌是大能的醫生,能夠醫治一切的創傷與疾病,而我們是那個扶持受傷的人站起來,包紮他的傷口,帶領他到主耶穌面前來的人。我知道在我的生命中還有許許多多要學習的功課。我願求主幫助,讓我一生行在祂所預備的道路上。

如果一切順利的進行,明年大部分的時間我將會在Denton的社區諮商中心擔任實習諮商員。西元二○○一年年底之前,我應能取得碩士學位。然後呢?許多長輩、朋友、弟兄姊妹們都很關心我前途的方向。我的答案是我不知道。我心中的確有幾個不同的打算,但是現階段我願意等候 神的帶領,讓祂來掌管我前途一切的方向。

最後,有幾件個人的代禱事項,請您在禱告中為我紀念:

  1. 求 神幫助我的靈命能夠更加的長大成熟。讓我能夠榮耀 神、服事身邊的弟兄姊妹們、同時也能夠幫助更多還未信主的朋友來認識主。
  2. 求 神幫助我能夠完全的倚靠祂來面對教會、學校、生活中、實習中所遭遇的一切困難與挑戰。並求 神賜我健康與足夠的體力來面對每週二十小時的學校工作以及二十小時的機構實習。
  3. 求 神帶領並且指引我畢業後的方向。

如果您願意跟我分享您的代禱事項,我非常願意在禱告中紀念您。

願 神祝福您有個恩典滿溢的聖誕節,並有蒙福的新年!

English Version:

Dear Friend,

This is Christmas 2000 and I am writing my annual review to you again. This year, I like to do something different from past. In the last seven years, I used to send my annual review with Christmas card to you, but I am not going to do it this year. Because most of you already have an email account this year, I decide to send the Christmas greeting and my annual review to you by email. The money, which I used to buy Christmas cards and postage, is going to United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF). The reason for me to do this is because I want to use this a little money to help somebody who is in need. Although I do not have much many, and most of the money comes from my parents, I have never been short of foods or clothes. However, I know there are a lot of people in the world do not have foods or clothes. I hope this a little money can help some children to have foods and clothes in this chilly Christmas season. Therefore, none of you will receive my Christmas gift or Christmas card this year, but I do hope you have a joyful and thankful heart as I have had this year.

This is my third Christmas in the United States. There were too many events happened in my life in the last two and half years. When I recall the memory, there are lots of emotions crowd into my heart. The Psalm 139 always comes up when I think about what happened in my life during the last two and half years. The King David said to the LORD:

“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say,”Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,
even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

As a Christian who grew up in a Christian family, I knew I had a relationship with God but I did not have a profound and intimate relationship with Him. I have never met any serious trouble or crisis in my life. Therefore, though I know the relationship with God is very important, it is only knowledge in my head, not a desire in my heart. However, in the last two and half years, I have experienced how precious it is to have Jesus as my best friend. Just like what King David said in the Psalm 139, when I felt the darkness hid me and the light became night around me, God did not abandon me. When I ran into pains and temptations, He comforted me and guided me by His amazing grace and provident guidance. Now, the only thing I want to do is praising and worship Him. Yes, Jesus is the Lord, and now I do not only know it, but I have experienced it. I am no longer living for myself, but living for my savior Jesus Christ. I want to say thank You, thank You, and thank You to the LORD. I also want to thank those brothers and sisters who prayed for me, those pastors and brothers and sisters who helped me when I suffered, and those brothers and sisters who supported me with your kindness and love when I treated you very unkind. May God watch you and bless you for everything you have done for me.

My study in the counseling program is not too bad though I am not a straight A student. I remember how anxious I was when I just started to study counseling. I went through a lot of struggles between the Christianity and the counseling theories. There are many things in counseling field that I found conflicts with the biblical principles. Fortunately, I have a good pastor, some Christian professors, and good brothers and sisters helped me to go through these struggles. Now, though I am still a novice in counseling, I do have such a great anxious like before. I believe Jesus is the only savior and we are the connectors. We are not able to save anyone, but what we can do is bring people to Jesus and connect them to the savior. I thank God for give me this opportunity to learn counseling and to serve Him.

If everything goes smoothly, I will do my internship in the Denton County Friends of Family from January 2001. Then, if I do my internship well, I will finish my master’s degree before Christmas 2001. Many people ask me what I am going to de after graduation and my answer for you and them are the same: I don’t know. I do have several plans in my mind, but in this stage I would like to wait and pray for God’s will revealed. I want my life to be used by God in His way.

In the end, I have several praying requests. Please remember me in your prayers:

  1. Please pray God helping me to be more mature and strong in spiritual life, so I am able to glorify Him, serve brothers and sisters, and lead unbelievers to Him.
  2. Please pray God helping me to rely on Him for whatever I meet in the church, school, personal life, and counseling internship. Also, I need health body and enough energy to work twenty hours in the school and the other twenty hours in the counseling agency.
  3. Please pray God guiding me for what to do and where to go after graduation.

Please let me know your praying requests and I will pray for you.

May God bless you and give you a wonderful Christmas and New Year with His grace and mercy.

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