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在從Tallahassee回台灣的飛機上我為您寫今年的年終回顧。今年是我來美國之後的第七個聖誕節，忽然之間覺得自己真的是來美國太久了，不知不覺六年的時間就這樣過去了。六年的時間已經夠我唸完大學又當完兵了，而我還在這裡繼續跟我的博士學位奮鬥。
今年算是平穩蒙神保守的一年。自從2003年暑假通過了博士資格考之後，我便開始論文研究及寫作的生活。由於我考完博士資格考後還有一些課沒有修完，因此我去年的秋季大部分的時間仍然花在修課上，到今年初才開始專心的準備論文。我們系上的博士生必須準備三次論文口頭答辯。第一次口頭答辯是博士論文的前兩章 (Introduction and Literature Review)，稱為mini-prospectus。第二次口頭答辯是論文的前兩章再加上Methodology，稱為prospectus defense。最後一次口頭答辯則是論文成品（共五章），即所謂的final defense。感謝神的帶領讓我在今年六月的時候通過了第一階段的mini-prospectus答辯，然後又在十月通過了第二階段的 prospectus答辯。很多人可能很好奇寫論文是種什麼樣的經驗，就個人來說，我覺得寫論文是對於一個人意志力與決心的大挑戰。寫論文說難嗎不難，說簡單也實在不簡單。以前常常聽到別人說寫論文有多難多難，自己開始寫之後發現寫論文最需要的是貫徹到底的決心。寫作論文的過程中常常會遇到很多的瓶頸，有的時候一個問題可以讓我苦思兩個禮拜，正當我準備要放棄的時候，卻突然靈光乍現，一下子問題就解決了；有的時候當靈感來臨時又可以沒日沒夜的一直寫下去。就這樣我一步一步的進行我的論文研究，如果一切蒙神保守，希望在明年年中以前能夠完成我的博士學位。
寫論文是今年最大的一件事，除了寫論文，好像沒有發生什麼其他的大事，但是生活還是依然的忙碌。在教會中，我今年開始教1～5年級的兒童主日學。我以前從來沒有教過兒童主日學，因此每次教課前都要花很多的時間準備。但是我很感謝神讓我有機會來服事這些年輕的孩子們，我從這些孩子身上學到很多的功課。我也希望自己能夠繼續的把這些孩子帶到神的面前，教導他們成為神所喜悅的人。
五月的時候我到Wyoming拜訪我的好朋友。我跟好友以及他們新生的女兒度過了非常愉快的一個禮拜。我們也同時利用機會到Rocky Mountain National Park去走了一趟。這是我這一輩子第一次看到高山上的積雪以及結冰的湖面。一路上我們不斷地讚嘆上帝創造的奇妙與偉大。這是我今年唯一的一趟出城旅遊。
七月的某一天我在看新聞的時候無意間看到關於蘇丹內戰的新聞。這個新聞對我造成了很大的震撼。想到這個世界上有這麼多的人在受苦，而神在我身上的恩典卻是這麼的大，讓我可以無後顧之憂得在美國讀書，真希望我能為這些受苦的人盡一分力。我求神讓我有機會能到非洲去看看那邊的生活景況。很奇妙的是神為我開了去非洲短宣的路。因此在明年的三月二十八到四月八日之間我將隨同International Christian Ministries的短宣隊到非州的肯亞短宣十天。請你們在禱告中特別的為我紀念，讓我在剩下的幾個月能夠做好短宣的準備，也為我去非洲的旅費籌款、簽證以及手續代禱。若是您對我去非洲短宣的心路歷程有興趣，請參考我的網站：https://www.pushih.com/indexf.php?cat=19。
最後，請繼續為我的論文研究、畢業後的出路、以及我在教會中的服事代禱。我仍在等待神所為我預備的另外一半的出現，所以也請為我的耐心等候以及在神面前的預備代禱。
It is again the time of Christmas and the time for me to count God’s blessing in my life for the past year. I am currently writing this letter on the flight from Tallahassee to Taipei. I am so glad that I can spend this Christmas in Taipei with my family. I wish you too have a joyous and peaceful Christmas and New Year holidays with your family and friends. Before you enjoy your holidays, however, let me give you a short report on how God has led my life in the year 2004.
Generally speaking, this is a quiet year in my life. Ever since I passed the doctoral preliminary exam last year, I have put all my energy on conducting my dissertation research. Not like the last two years, in which I attended at least two national conferences each year, this year I did not go to any conference or professional meeting. Instead, I focused on writing the first three chapters of my doctoral dissertation and developing a survey instrument for my dissertation research. In June, I passed the first stage dissertation oral defense (mini-prospectus), and in October I passed the second stage defense (prospectus). Conducting and writing a dissertation research takes a lot of time, energy, and determination. I spent a lot of time in reading, synchronizing what I have read, and coming up with my own ideas. There were times when there seemed to have no solution to my situation. For instance, I have spent two weeks trying to figure out a methodological problem without any progress. One day, when I was working out in the gym, a light came into my mind and I solved the problem immediately. Incidents like this happened again and again, which made me believe that God was the source of all wisdom. If not by God’s grace and His blessing, there is no way I can make it to this day.
Other than dissertation research, I am continuing my part-time assistantship job in the Florida Department of Education (FLDOE). Working in the FLDOE gave me insights into how government conducted public education and the true meaning of “bureaucracy.”
In the church, I began to teach children’s Sunday school this year. Teaching these 7-12 years old children was a huge challenge. However, I was very thankful that God gave me this opportunity to serve Him by teaching these children and I was thrilled to be responsible for the spiritual life of these children.
One evening of the past July, I saw news on TV about the civil war in Sudan. An Arabic militia group, which was secretly supported by the Islamic government, has reportedly burned hundreds of villages, robbing, raping, torturing, and murdering their non-Arab inhabitants in the western Darfur region of Sudan. It was estimated that as many as 70,000 people have been killed in Darfur since the fighting started in early 2003, 2.3 million have been displaced. I was enraged and heartbreaking when I saw the news. I asked God what I can do for these suffered people. Somehow, God planted the seed of Africa mission in my heart. In the next several months, information about Africa continued popping up in my life, and I began to seek God’s will if He wants me to do something in Africa. On a September morning, when I was still on the bed, I heard from the radio that the Faith Radio Network of Tallahassee is going to put together a North Florida mission team to Kenya. I jumped up from the bed and asked God if this was the opportunity He prepared for me. After praying and seeking God’s will, I am sure this is the trip God wants me to go. Therefore, I will join the North Florida mission team to Kenya from March 29 to April 9, 2005. Please pray for my spiritual, physical, and emotional preparation and fundraising in the next several months so that I can be used by God in Kenya.
Please still keep my dissertation research, job search, spiritual life, and physical and emotional health in your prayers. I am still waiting for the special one to come into my life. Please pray for me that I can be prepared before I get into a relationship and I can be still and patient in waiting for God’s timing.
雖然我在Tallahassee已經住了三年多，今天是我第一次從台北一路飛到Tallahassee–真是一種折磨。其實一路上到Memphis之前都蠻順利的。由於這是我第一次在大阪機場轉機，所以特別的興奮可以看到大阪的海上機場。從大阪飛底特律只花了十個小時，算是很短了，不過我還是覺得很累。在飛機上看了Will Smith主演的I, Robot，發現還蠻好看的。雖然電腦發展出自由意志這種劇情已經快要被電影演爛了，我還是覺得這部電影不錯看。劇情也許不新奇，但是編劇跟導演很技巧的結合人性與科技間的衝突，讓這部電影不至於流於特效展示片（e.g. The Matrix Revolutions），頗值得一看。
本來只是想隨便試一下，沒想到大阪機場竟然有免費的無線上網，真是太令我興奮了！
你知道，書讀太多的人常常會把他們所學的專業知識不知不覺的應用到生活中不相干的事物上。舉例來說，學電腦的人常常會用跟電腦相關的比喻來描述生活中的事物。而寫博士論文的人則是凡事都要講究出處和定義。「回家」聽起來好像是一件很容易的事情，但是讀博士班的人都知道越是看似簡單的事情往往越難去分析跟解釋。如果我請你給「家」下一個定義，你會怎麼說呢？根據教育部所編輯的國語辭典的解釋，家就是「眷屬共同生活的場所」。可是我相信對很多人來說，他們心目中的家不一定是「眷屬共同生活的場所」。對我來說，家就是那麼讓我覺得自己被愛、被認同、可以輕鬆自在不感到拘束的地方。