Daily Archives: April 19, 2004

With *Age* Comes A Little *Wisdom*

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can beloved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life but whom you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do but to the best you can do.

I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people that’s important. It’s what they do about it.

I’ve learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides to the story.

I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you’ll ever talk to them.

I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don’t know how to show it.

I’ve learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time at either.

I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the first to help you get back up.

I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned that you should never tell a child that their dreams are unlikely or foolish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed you!

I’ve learned that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem odd, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I’m forced to choose sides even when I don’t want to.

I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, doesn’t mean that they do!

I’ve learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

I’ve learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.

I’ve learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of minutes by people who don’t even know you.

I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.

I’ve learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.

I’ve learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned that although the word “love” can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used.

I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.

1. Give God what’s right – not what’s left.
2. “Pray” is a four-letter word you can say anywhere – except in public schools.
3. Man’s way leads to a hopeless end – God’s way leads to an endless hope.
4. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
5. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
6. To be almost saved is to be totally lost.
7. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma – but never let him be the period.
8. Don’t put a question mark where God puts a period.
9. God grades on the cross, not the curve.
10. Are you wrinkled with burden? Came to the church for a facelift.
11. When praying, don’t give God instructions – just report for duty.
12. God’s doesn’t want shares of your life – He wants a controlling interest.
13. Don’t wait for six strong men to take you to church.
14. We don’t change God’s message – His message changes us.
15. The church is prayer-conditioned.
16. When God ordains, He sustains.
17. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
18. Plan ahead – It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.
19. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
20. Suffering with truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
21. Exercise daily – walk with the Lord.
22. Coincidences happen when God chooses to remain anonymous.
23. Wisdom has two parts – 1) having a lot to say; 2) not saying it.
24. Never give the devil a ride – he will always want to drive.
25. A clean conscience makes a soft pillow.
26. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
27. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
28. He who angers you controls you.
29. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
30. Give Satan an inch and he’ll be a ruler.
31. Forbidden fruits create many jams.
32. Be ye fishers of men – you catch them and He’ll clean them.
33. Deciding not to choose Jesus is still making a choice.
34. God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
35. Read the Bible – It will scare the hell out of you.
36. If God is your copilot – swap seats.

This is a joke found on the Internet. I don’t know where it comes from. However, if you think English is a difficult language, then you should read this joke!

A large amount of typing errors are caused by 3 reasons:

1. Carelessness
2. Spelling differences across countries (e.g. color/colour)
3. Nonnative English speakers trying to cope with illogical spelling rules

I now strongly suggest we should try to simplify the language. To try and do this in one attempt could be disastrous, so I think we should phase it in over a 5 year period. My suggestions are as follows, and I hope you will agree.

In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy.

Also, the hard “c” will be replased with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replased by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. We will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “e”s in the languag is disgraful, and they would go.

By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” by “z” and “w” by “v”.

During ze fifz year ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” , so Soup will then be known as Sup and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

VP’s Office – What are the learning outcomes associated with changing that bulb?

Asst. VP’s – and who do you think is going to pay for all these bulbs?

Financial Aid – File your FAFSA then worry about it

Res Life – You need to bring your own light bulbs, read your license agreement

Student Union – We’ll have to charge you extra to change that bulb

Student Government – We’ll pass a resolution recognizing the bulb is out, then it shall be out

Judicial Affairs – if you read the code we have 5 days to decide then 3 days to respond then 5 days to act

Student Support Services – some first generation students haven’t even seen a light bulb

Admissions and Records – FERPA doesn’t allow us to tell you that information

Prospective Students – Our light bulbs never burn out, it’s perfect here, read the script

Legal Counsel – Well who bought those bulbs in the first place?

FYE – At least two, and they need to feel like they matter

Disability Resource Center – According to the ADA that ceiling will have to be lowered

Greek Life – We don’t change anything, it is always out, its tradition. Can we still have our party?

Career Services – one each from the MBTI personality types should work

Service Learning – Let’s see who wants to volunteer for that job?

Transition Programs – no, really it’s not too late you can still change it

Counseling Center – We would like to tell you but that’s confidential

Tutoring program – we can teach anyone how to change it

Bookstore – we have bulbs with the logo on sale this week at 20% off

Escort Services – Ignore it, we’ll give you a lift so you don’t need to walk in the dark

Cashier – you will have to sign for those you know

Ethnic Student Center – we have a MUFP Intern to handle that

Graduate Students – oh sure you ask us to change light bulbs but forget us every other time

Strategic Planning – Within five years we won’t even need light bulbs

Student Activities – we reserved ALL the light bulbs a long time ago

Exits/Withdrawals – you can change it, but the committee will decide on a refund

Mediation – everyone will have to agree with the changing process

Pre Professional and Grad School Advising – lucky you, we have a workshop for that

Substance Abuse counseling – changing it will just enable the behavior

Computing Services – If you had backed up your files, this wouldn’t be a problem

Testing center – a high analytical score will determine the changer

Upward Bound – our grant money won’t pay for that

Veteran Services – you have to have a form GS slash 14 B 96021

Physical Plant – we need a work order and an account number

The Student – It is just a light bulb, take it easy!

A Traditional Folktale Retold by Angela Etwell Hunt.
Materials From “The Tale of Three Trees”, Chariot Victor Publishing, Copyright 1989.

Once upon a mountaintop, three little trees stood and dreamed of what they wanted to become when they grew up.

The first little tree looked up at the stars twinkling like diamonds above him. “I want to hold treasure,” he said. “I want to be covered with gold and filled with precious stones. I will be the most beautiful treasure chest in the world!”

The second little tree looked out at the small stream trickling by on its way to the ocean. “I want to be a strong sailing ship,” he said. “I want to travel mighty waters and carry powerful kings. I will be the strongest ship in the world!”

The third little tree looked down into the valley below where busy men and busy women worked in a busy town. “I don’t want to leave this mountaintop at all,” she said. “I want to grow so tall that when people stop to look at me they will raise their eyes to heaven and think of God. I will be the tallest tree in the world!”

Years passed. The rains came, the sun shone, and the little trees grew tall.

One day three woodcutters climbed the mountain.

The first woodcutter looked at the first tree and said, “This tree is beautiful. It is perfect for me.” With a swoop of his shining axe, the first tree fell.

“Now I shall be made into a beautiful chest,” thought the first tree. “I shall hold wonderful treasure.”

The second woodcutter looked at the second tree and said, “This tree is strong. It is perfect for me.” With a swoop of his shining axe, the second tree fell.

“Now I shall sail mighty waters,” thought the second tree. “I shall be a strong ship fit for kings!”

The third tree felt her heart sink when the last woodcutter looked her way. She stood straight and tall and pointed bravely to heaven.

But the woodcutter never even looked up. “Any kind of tree will do for me,” he muttered. With a swoop of his shining axe, the third tree fell.

The first tree rejoiced when the woodcutter brought him to a carpenter’s shop, but the busy carpenter was not thinking about treasure chests. Instead his work-worn hands fashioned the tree into a feed box for animals.

The once-beautiful tree was not covered with gold or filled with treasure. He was coated with sawdust and filled with hay for hungry farm animals.

The second tree smiled when the woodcutter took him to a shipyard, but no mighty sailing ships were being made that day. Instead the once-strong tree was hammered and sawed into a simple fishing boat.

Too small and too weak to sail an ocean or even a river, he was taken to a little lake. Every day he brought in loads of dead, smelly fish.

The third tree was confused when the woodcutter cut her into strong beams and left her in a lumberyard.

“What happened?” the once-tall tree wondered. “All I ever wanted to do was stay on the mountaintop and point to God.”

Many, many days and nights passed. The three trees nearly forgot their dreams.

But one night golden starlight poured over the first tree as a young woman placed her newborn baby in the feed box.

“I wish I could make a cradle for him,” her husband whispered.

The mother squeezed his hand and smiled as the starlight shone on the smooth and sturdy wood. “This manger is beautiful,” she said.

And suddenly the first tree knew he was holding the greatest treasure in the world.

One evening a tired traveler and his friends crowded into the old fishing boat. The traveler fell asleep as the second tree quietly sailed out into the lake.

Soon a thrashing storm arose. The little tree shuddered. He knew he did not have the strength to carry so many passengers safely through the wind and rain.

The tired man awakened. He stood up, stretched out his hand, and said, “Peace.” The storm stopped as quickly as it had begun.

And suddenly the second tree knew he was carrying the King of heaven and earth.

One Friday morning, the third tree was startled when her beams were yanked from the forgotten woodpile. She flinched as she was carried through an angry, jeering crowd. She shuddered when soldiers nailed a man’s hands to her.

She felt ugly and harsh and cruel.

But on Sunday morning, when the sun rose and the earth trembled with joy beneath her, the third tree knew that God’s love had changed everything.

It had made the first tree beautiful. It had made the second tree strong.

And every time people thought of the third tree, they would think of God.

That was better than being the tallest tree in the whole world.

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